Once, not so many years ago, the Cloud Recesses had burned, and Lan Xichen had mourned.
But from the ashes, life sprang anew and carried on. As things had settled, new structures once more began to feel at home.
Sometimes, Lan Xichen took to wandering, remembering how things once were. There would come a day when no one did, and so he kept the memory alive and safe.
His musings are interrupted when he hears someone draw a shuddering breath. Curious, he follows the sound, only to find Yuan seated under the roof of a pavilion, face streaked with tears.
Lan Xichen approaches, already procuring a silk kerchief from the fold of his robes and offers it to him.
"Is it familiar here...?" he asks softly. Perhaps Yuan was from somewhere like the Cloud Recesses, or perhaps he'd even been here before. Moreover, whatever it was had pained him to the point of tears, and Lan Xichen was reluctant to leave him alone with his misery.
"Huh...?" Shen Yuan looks up with oddly blurring vision, and startles badly. "Sect Leader! I'm so sorry, I didn't hear you approach..." He struggles up onto his feet and gets about one-quarter into a bow before Lan Xichen stops him, holding out a hankerchief. Shen Yuan stares at it for a moment, mystified, before he manages to connect the offer with his damp face and his trouble seeing. "Oh, thank you," he says, hastily accepting it and dabbing at his cheeks. "How embarrassing, I hoped no one would see me like this..."
To Lan Xichen's question he can only shrug. "I suppose it must have!" He laughs helplessly. "I don't...I really can't think of any other reason why I'd act like this, it surely isn't the trees' fault. They're beautiful. Everything's so beautiful here, peaceful and tr-tranquil --" To his shame his voice cracks, and he hastily hides his face in one of his sleeves with a mortified blush.
A gentle hand comes to rest on Shen Yuan's shoulder to steady him against the tumultuous emotions.
"I did not mean to interrupt. This must be ... a lot to process."
With care, he guides Shen Yuan back to where he'd been sitting. It's not so unlike maneuvering Nie Huaisang when he was having one of his little agonies, though Shen Yuan was far less melodramatic, and far more entitled to the tears flowing down his face.
"Would you like to talk about it? Even if it is only flashes of emotion."
That hand feels good on his shoulder. Large and strong, steady like Yue Qingyuan -- and with that same unplumbed depth of sadness behind his every gesture than Shen Qingqiu was never able to understand --
This isn't helping him with the 'stop crying in front of the sect leader' thing.
"What is there to say?" Shen Yuan asks rhetorically, dabbing at his face to rid himself of a fresh wave of tears. "I'm homesick for a place I don't remember, people I couldn't describe if my life depended on it." He sighs heavily and decides to show a tiny fragment of the truth, just to avoid appearing totally uncooperative (not at all because he's lonely, and hurting, and Lan Xichen has been so kind). "I try my best to keep busy and let my memories take care of themselves, but something about this place --" He gestures out at the bamboo grove nearest the pavilion. "-- it compels me. It does feel familiar, somehow."
"But I would rather talk about Sect Leader's investigations, if he is willing," he says, trying to change the subject. "Has anything interesting turned up?"
"That is still a good start," he tries to reassure, keeping his tone level. With the other young man so heartwrenchingly upset, it's important to be an absolute rock in the maelstrom of emotions, and try to draw attention to the positives.
His eyes follow to where Shen Yuan is gesturing and something nostalgic passes over his face.
Now that is absolutely a question Shen Yuan has no intention of answering properly.
"Who can say?" he asks with a small shrug. "Perhaps I grew up somewhere like this, or studied cultivation there, or maybe I visited someplace like this once and it was an important memory for some reason or another." He smiles weakly. "This one fears there are too many likely possibilities to rule out with any degree of certainty."
Understandable enough, he thinks to himself. After all, when you didn't even know what you didn't know, how could you begin to make an educated guess...?
Absentmindedly rubbing Shen Yuan's shoulder, Lan Xichen thinks about how to broach that one peculiarity without alarming the other man.
"If... when you are feeling up to it, would you mind if I asked you about your studies in cultivation."
"Sect Leader may ask this one anything," Shen Yuan says calmly. "I only regret my inability to provide proper answers."
And that's not even entirely a lie anymore, is the distressing thing. Shen Yuan's going to get himself into trouble if he keeps liking Lan Xichen like this.
Oh boy. Shen Yuan pre-emptively curses Airplane for being such a shitty writer, and Trench for making him start over from the beginning cultivation-wise. Outwardly he just smiles slightly and offers his wrist.
"This one sees no reason to object," he says. "But what does Sect Leader mean when he calls it strange?"
Don't stop smiling. No wait, look concerned. This is clearly concerning, and he's trying to pass for an amnesiac native of this world, not an inter-dimensional traveller of any description.
"Is this concerning?" he asks, and gently takes his wrist back, pressing his own fingers to the pulse point as if testing it for the first time. "Sect Leader, please forgive me. I really don't understand what the problem is."
Fuck you, Airplane. Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck, fuck your mother, fuck your sisters, fuck your cow and the horse you rode in on...
But also fuck Shen Yuan's entire life, of course he'd wind up in a setting with stricter cultivation. Of course he would! That was just his luck.
He stares at Lan Xichen wide-eyed, at a complete loss. "No? I mean, forgive me Sect Leader, but I really can't. Aside from supposing it must have been humanoid from the shape of the bite marks, I don't know anything about them at all." And even the humanoid bite-marks thing was copied from the sect doctor, who'd checked his wound and re-dressed it on his first day within the sect.
"Is it really so odd?" he asks tentatively, fishing for more exposition so he can bullshit his way out of this more effectively. "I still have qi, have I not?"
"You do, which is why it's odd. Everyone certainly has some, but you have training and signs that a core was there."
He smiles again, though he can't quite hide his bewilderment.
"You are, otherwise, quite healthy, so please put your mind at ease in those regards. Though the loss of your golden core and your amnesia could be intertwined."
How can Shen Yuan respond to that except by shrugging?
"Ah well," he says, carefully flattening out Lan Xichen's hankerchief and refolding it in his lap. "As long as one has their health, they can't worry too much. And I beg Sect Leader not worry too," he adds, offering it back. "This one is safe from harm and living comfortably, thanks to your intervention. What more could anyone need, much less dare to ask for?"
Shen Yuan's heart clenches at the reminder of that old, helpless pain. For a moment he is truly speechless. But it quickly passes, and he gives Lan Xichen a sad smile, saying, "Sect Leader means well, but he should remember that not everyone is so blessed in matters of family as he."
He continues, "This one has already given some careful thought to the matter. This one was found alone in the woods, with no letters of credit or identification on his person, is it not so? Not even a crest or tassel to indicate his hometown." He shakes his head sadly. "Who would choose to travel in such a manner? It seems to this one that there are only two explanations: either I chose to leave all means of identifying myself behind, or these things were taken from me. If the first, what does that say about me? Surely only someone up to no good would do such a thing; and if my goal was to commit some nefarious deed, then I can only consider my amnesia an act of the heavens." Man, this is great material he came up with here. Eat your heart out, Airplane.
"If the second," he continues with a quiet sigh, "then I fear my case is truly hopeless. My captors either bypassed the town completely, or were so subtle in their passing that nobody marked their presence. Who can say where they came from, or which way they went after having their way with me? And returning to the subject of family, why did no one stop them? Why has no one followed my trail and asked after me? I can only conclude that, unfilial though it may sound, either my family was too weak to be any help, or they're glad to be rid of me. Or perhaps I have always been alone in the world." He shrugs again. "You see? What use is it to dwell on these things? I will only make myself cry again, or something equally unworthy."
For a moment, Lan Xichen looks completely taken aback by the outburst.
And then it all clicks into place.
The missing core, the lack of identity, it all makes perfect sense now. This young man must be one of the remnants of the ravaged Wen Sect, perhaps even one who suffered at the hands of Wen Zhuliu himself! It all makes sense!
How thoughtless Lan Xichen had been, what an utter dunce!
He kneels down, gently clasping Yuan's hands, a warm smile on his face. (He even has the same name as one of the other Wen remnants in their midst, posed as his very own nephew).
"If a new life is what you desire," he says, kindness and welcome practically radiating off him like little beams of sunshine, "then you are very welcome to build it here."
Not that this wasn't the reaction he was gunning for, but to recieve it so suddenly, and with such an excess of enthusiasm...boy, would Shen Yuan like to know wtf he just said to stir up this reaction!
Still, as it was his life and safety on the line, he chose not to look a gift horse in the mouth and instead tried his best to look simply grateful, simply relieved. "Sect Leader Lan!" he gasped. "So kind, so generous...truly peerless...The best among men..."
Well, as long as he can avoid fucking this up in the future, he'll probably be set!
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2022-10-22 12:06 am (UTC)But from the ashes, life sprang anew and carried on. As things had settled, new structures once more began to feel at home.
Sometimes, Lan Xichen took to wandering, remembering how things once were. There would come a day when no one did, and so he kept the memory alive and safe.
His musings are interrupted when he hears someone draw a shuddering breath. Curious, he follows the sound, only to find Yuan seated under the roof of a pavilion, face streaked with tears.
Lan Xichen approaches, already procuring a silk kerchief from the fold of his robes and offers it to him.
"Is it familiar here...?" he asks softly. Perhaps Yuan was from somewhere like the Cloud Recesses, or perhaps he'd even been here before. Moreover, whatever it was had pained him to the point of tears, and Lan Xichen was reluctant to leave him alone with his misery.
no subject
Date: 2022-10-22 12:23 am (UTC)To Lan Xichen's question he can only shrug. "I suppose it must have!" He laughs helplessly. "I don't...I really can't think of any other reason why I'd act like this, it surely isn't the trees' fault. They're beautiful. Everything's so beautiful here, peaceful and tr-tranquil --" To his shame his voice cracks, and he hastily hides his face in one of his sleeves with a mortified blush.
no subject
Date: 2022-10-22 01:11 am (UTC)"I did not mean to interrupt. This must be ... a lot to process."
With care, he guides Shen Yuan back to where he'd been sitting. It's not so unlike maneuvering Nie Huaisang when he was having one of his little agonies, though Shen Yuan was far less melodramatic, and far more entitled to the tears flowing down his face.
"Would you like to talk about it? Even if it is only flashes of emotion."
no subject
Date: 2022-10-22 03:08 pm (UTC)This isn't helping him with the 'stop crying in front of the sect leader' thing.
"What is there to say?" Shen Yuan asks rhetorically, dabbing at his face to rid himself of a fresh wave of tears. "I'm homesick for a place I don't remember, people I couldn't describe if my life depended on it." He sighs heavily and decides to show a tiny fragment of the truth, just to avoid appearing totally uncooperative
(not at all because he's lonely, and hurting, and Lan Xichen has been so kind). "I try my best to keep busy and let my memories take care of themselves, but something about this place --" He gestures out at the bamboo grove nearest the pavilion. "-- it compels me. It does feel familiar, somehow.""But I would rather talk about Sect Leader's investigations, if he is willing," he says, trying to change the subject. "Has anything interesting turned up?"
no subject
Date: 2022-10-22 04:01 pm (UTC)His eyes follow to where Shen Yuan is gesturing and something nostalgic passes over his face.
"Were you from a place like this?"
no subject
Date: 2022-10-22 04:08 pm (UTC)"Who can say?" he asks with a small shrug. "Perhaps I grew up somewhere like this, or studied cultivation there, or maybe I visited someplace like this once and it was an important memory for some reason or another." He smiles weakly. "This one fears there are too many likely possibilities to rule out with any degree of certainty."
no subject
Date: 2022-10-22 04:17 pm (UTC)Absentmindedly rubbing Shen Yuan's shoulder, Lan Xichen thinks about how to broach that one peculiarity without alarming the other man.
"If... when you are feeling up to it, would you mind if I asked you about your studies in cultivation."
no subject
Date: 2022-10-22 04:22 pm (UTC)And that's not even entirely a lie anymore, is the distressing thing. Shen Yuan's going to get himself into trouble if he keeps liking Lan Xichen like this.
no subject
Date: 2022-10-22 04:38 pm (UTC)"Do you remember when i checked your vitals?" he asks. "It was strange, I could not locate a golden core. Would you mind if I checked again?"
no subject
Date: 2022-10-22 04:48 pm (UTC)"This one sees no reason to object," he says. "But what does Sect Leader mean when he calls it strange?"
no subject
Date: 2022-10-22 04:55 pm (UTC)His touch is delicate, holding his arm steady with one hand and tracing his pulse with the other.
Lan Xichen's brow furrows.
"...It really isn't there."
no subject
Date: 2022-10-22 04:59 pm (UTC)"Is this concerning?" he asks, and gently takes his wrist back, pressing his own fingers to the pulse point as if testing it for the first time. "Sect Leader, please forgive me. I really don't understand what the problem is."
no subject
Date: 2022-10-22 05:16 pm (UTC)He frowns, lost in thought for a few moments, before shaking himself back to reality.
"I don't know of anything that could have done this; can you recall nothing of what may have attacked you?"
no subject
Date: 2022-10-22 07:14 pm (UTC)But also fuck Shen Yuan's entire life, of course he'd wind up in a setting with stricter cultivation. Of course he would! That was just his luck.
He stares at Lan Xichen wide-eyed, at a complete loss. "No? I mean, forgive me Sect Leader, but I really can't. Aside from supposing it must have been humanoid from the shape of the bite marks, I don't know anything about them at all." And even the humanoid bite-marks thing was copied from the sect doctor, who'd checked his wound and re-dressed it on his first day within the sect.
"Is it really so odd?" he asks tentatively, fishing for more exposition so he can bullshit his way out of this more effectively. "I still have qi, have I not?"
no subject
Date: 2022-10-22 07:41 pm (UTC)He smiles again, though he can't quite hide his bewilderment.
"You are, otherwise, quite healthy, so please put your mind at ease in those regards. Though the loss of your golden core and your amnesia could be intertwined."
no subject
Date: 2022-10-22 07:50 pm (UTC)"Ah well," he says, carefully flattening out Lan Xichen's hankerchief and refolding it in his lap. "As long as one has their health, they can't worry too much. And I beg Sect Leader not worry too," he adds, offering it back. "This one is safe from harm and living comfortably, thanks to your intervention. What more could anyone need, much less dare to ask for?"
no subject
Date: 2022-10-22 08:56 pm (UTC)"It's not wrong to ask more of life than that."
(Speak for yourself, Lan Huan.)
He gently closes Shen Yuan's hand over the kerchief. Something to hold onto in case he was overcome with emotions again.
"It is not that you are not welcome, but surely you must be worried about any friends and family...? They must be worried about you as well."
no subject
Date: 2022-10-22 09:17 pm (UTC)Shen Yuan's heart clenches at the reminder of that old, helpless pain. For a moment he is truly speechless. But it quickly passes, and he gives Lan Xichen a sad smile, saying, "Sect Leader means well, but he should remember that not everyone is so blessed in matters of family as he."
He continues, "This one has already given some careful thought to the matter. This one was found alone in the woods, with no letters of credit or identification on his person, is it not so? Not even a crest or tassel to indicate his hometown." He shakes his head sadly. "Who would choose to travel in such a manner? It seems to this one that there are only two explanations: either I chose to leave all means of identifying myself behind, or these things were taken from me. If the first, what does that say about me? Surely only someone up to no good would do such a thing; and if my goal was to commit some nefarious deed, then I can only consider my amnesia an act of the heavens." Man, this is great material he came up with here. Eat your heart out, Airplane.
"If the second," he continues with a quiet sigh, "then I fear my case is truly hopeless. My captors either bypassed the town completely, or were so subtle in their passing that nobody marked their presence. Who can say where they came from, or which way they went after having their way with me? And returning to the subject of family, why did no one stop them? Why has no one followed my trail and asked after me? I can only conclude that, unfilial though it may sound, either my family was too weak to be any help, or they're glad to be rid of me. Or perhaps I have always been alone in the world." He shrugs again. "You see? What use is it to dwell on these things? I will only make myself cry again, or something equally unworthy."
no subject
Date: 2022-10-22 11:36 pm (UTC)And then it all clicks into place.
The missing core, the lack of identity, it all makes perfect sense now. This young man must be one of the remnants of the ravaged Wen Sect, perhaps even one who suffered at the hands of Wen Zhuliu himself! It all makes sense!
How thoughtless Lan Xichen had been, what an utter dunce!
He kneels down, gently clasping Yuan's hands, a warm smile on his face. (He even has the same name as one of the other Wen remnants in their midst, posed as his very own nephew).
"If a new life is what you desire," he says, kindness and welcome practically radiating off him like little beams of sunshine, "then you are very welcome to build it here."
no subject
Date: 2022-10-23 12:13 am (UTC)Eheheh, what just happened?
Not that this wasn't the reaction he was gunning for, but to recieve it so suddenly, and with such an excess of enthusiasm...boy, would Shen Yuan like to know wtf he just said to stir up this reaction!
Still, as it was his life and safety on the line, he chose not to look a gift horse in the mouth and instead tried his best to look simply grateful, simply relieved. "Sect Leader Lan!" he gasped. "So kind, so generous...truly peerless...The best among men..."
Well, as long as he can avoid fucking this up in the future, he'll probably be set!