He wants to tell him that he is already worthy of that welcome, but he is not sure he should keep trying to reassure the other man that he is safe, that he won't be thrown to the wolves, and that Lan Xichen isn't going to tell others his origin.
He simply nods.
But he would like to hear about Shen Yuan's family.
"I did mean it when I asked before. That hasn't changed, so long as you are comfortable talking about her...?"
Loss was indeed painful, and he didn't want to prod old wounds.
"I've never had the chance before," Shen Yuan says honestly. Shen Qingqiu didn't have any siblings, after all; and the System had done a better job of reminding him to keep his cover than he'd done himself. (Still didn't mean he missed it, though!) "I think..." He sighed, rearranging his robes around his knees.
"She was our parents' fourth child," he finally says quietly. "After three boys, they didn't intend to have any more, but sometimes these things happen when anyone least expects it, no? As for me I was just happy to let someone else be the baby of the family; I saw myself as the grown-up and mature big brother, protecting her and teaching her everything she needed to know about the world...I taught her to read, actually, but apart from that..."
He leans his elbow on the table, laughing quietly. "In reality we were both very silly, spoiled brats. Our brothers got all the maturity in the family, I'm afraid."
He hides a laugh, even as something melancholy flickers behind his eyes.
"Ah, but should that not be the state of all younger siblings?" he asks. He doesn't ask why Shen Yuan is apart from his family. He can guess.
"I am sure you were a very good teacher. Though I would appreciate if you would demonstrate your calligraphy for me...?"
He opens the book to the rule about lying, unrolls the paper, and lays it out with the inkstone and brushes. There's a teasing smile on his face, however.
"A hundred times, please. Though due to extenuating circumstances, you can talk while doing so."
Rules were rules, but Lan Xichen was not the disciplinarian his Uncle is (one of many things Lan Qiren despairs).
Oh that's right, Lan Xichen has a younger brother too, doesn't he? The mysterious Hanguang-jun, who Shen Yuan sometimes overhears people discuss in hushed, bewildered tones that stop as soon as they realize he's entered the room. Had he been insensitive, talking about his own siblings like this?
But Lan Xichen did ask.
He follows the change in topic easily, laughing quietly behind a raised sleeve. "Sect Leader is truly merciful," he says, teasing a little but also meaning it. He knows he's getting off lightly.
"Then I'll begin," he says, flicking his sleeves with an easy, unconsciously elegant gesture and reaching for the ink. Between one moment and the next the idly lounging young master transforms into a proper young scholar: back straight, knees perfectly positioned, hands grinding the ink just so. Not too much, not too little.
That gives Shen Yuan pause. "How does one do handstands while writing lines?" he asks, mystified but also not sure he actually wants to know. Do they hold the brush between their toes...?
His calligraphy is Shen Qingqiu's: Shen Yuan had perfectly legible handcrafting in his first life, but he never studied it as an artform. But the original goods did calligraphy like he painted: elegant and with precision, if a little coldly. He nods in response to Lan Xichen's question without looking up from his task.
"'The heir, the spare,' and then me," he confirms with a wry little smile.
"I'm not sure, really," he admits. "Perhaps by standing on one arm and writing with the other...?"
So his immediate family was prominent enough to have concerns with regards for inheritance, and yet he bore no resemblance to any of the immediate family of the Wen Sect.
Interesting.
"I hope that isn't all your parents thought of you...?"
"Mm, terrifying. I'll certainly do all I can to stay on his good side."
As he finishes one line and starts the next, Shen Yuan shakes his head, saying, "No, they were very loving. To the point of over-indulgence, really." He snickers quietly. "I've learned to hide it to some extent, but I'm afraid deep down I'm still a rather lazy, unmotivated person. 'There's nothing wrong with finishing in the top ten as long as the contest had more than ten people in it,' that used to be my motto."
"Finishing at all can be an accomplishment," he says, the soft scrape of the ink stick on the stone punctuating he statement. "The feats we must first and foremost compare to are our own."
Shen Yuan hums in quiet agreement. He's certainly never been one to put himself first or make a scene (his activity levels on certain literature forums notwithstanding).
"For my part I've always been happy to live simply and quietly," he says in a soft voice. "It's the rest of the world that has other ideas."
He gives a small nod of agreement as he drags the brush across the surface of the paper in a graceful sweep, followed by some much shorter and choppier motions.
"The world so often does. Many decide for the futures of others what they would not necessarily choose for themselves."
His gaze turns inward as he works, the motions almost automatic at this point.
"I imagine the world would be a very different place if such things were not foisted upon us."
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2022-10-24 04:14 am (UTC)"Please, there is no need for that," he says. "I meant it when I said you are welcome here."
Though the Shen Yuan gives him a moment's pause, and he smiles to himself.
Poured away, he thinks. Truly, it is an accurate assessment of the state of things.
no subject
Date: 2022-10-24 04:37 am (UTC)After a moment he clears his throat and asks tentatively, "Would Sect Leader still like to hear about this one's sister...?"
no subject
Date: 2022-10-24 05:15 am (UTC)He simply nods.
But he would like to hear about Shen Yuan's family.
"I did mean it when I asked before. That hasn't changed, so long as you are comfortable talking about her...?"
Loss was indeed painful, and he didn't want to prod old wounds.
no subject
Date: 2022-10-24 07:02 am (UTC)"She was our parents' fourth child," he finally says quietly. "After three boys, they didn't intend to have any more, but sometimes these things happen when anyone least expects it, no? As for me I was just happy to let someone else be the baby of the family; I saw myself as the grown-up and mature big brother, protecting her and teaching her everything she needed to know about the world...I taught her to read, actually, but apart from that..."
He leans his elbow on the table, laughing quietly. "In reality we were both very silly, spoiled brats. Our brothers got all the maturity in the family, I'm afraid."
no subject
Date: 2022-10-24 05:26 pm (UTC)"Ah, but should that not be the state of all younger siblings?" he asks. He doesn't ask why Shen Yuan is apart from his family. He can guess.
"I am sure you were a very good teacher. Though I would appreciate if you would demonstrate your calligraphy for me...?"
He opens the book to the rule about lying, unrolls the paper, and lays it out with the inkstone and brushes. There's a teasing smile on his face, however.
"A hundred times, please. Though due to extenuating circumstances, you can talk while doing so."
Rules were rules, but Lan Xichen was not the disciplinarian his Uncle is (one of many things Lan Qiren despairs).
no subject
Date: 2022-10-24 11:57 pm (UTC)But Lan Xichen did ask.
He follows the change in topic easily, laughing quietly behind a raised sleeve. "Sect Leader is truly merciful," he says, teasing a little but also meaning it. He knows he's getting off lightly.
"Then I'll begin," he says, flicking his sleeves with an easy, unconsciously elegant gesture and reaching for the ink. Between one moment and the next the idly lounging young master transforms into a proper young scholar: back straight, knees perfectly positioned, hands grinding the ink just so. Not too much, not too little.
no subject
Date: 2022-10-25 12:04 am (UTC)"Just be wary about breaking rules around my Uncle. He has incorporated handstands into the process."
He settles himself at a nearby table, unfurling another roll of paper so that he could paint while Shen Yuan wrote.
"You mentioned before you're the youngest of three brothers...?"
no subject
Date: 2022-10-25 12:55 am (UTC)His calligraphy is Shen Qingqiu's: Shen Yuan had perfectly legible handcrafting in his first life, but he never studied it as an artform. But the original goods did calligraphy like he painted: elegant and with precision, if a little coldly. He nods in response to Lan Xichen's question without looking up from his task.
"'The heir, the spare,' and then me," he confirms with a wry little smile.
no subject
Date: 2022-10-25 01:35 am (UTC)So his immediate family was prominent enough to have concerns with regards for inheritance, and yet he bore no resemblance to any of the immediate family of the Wen Sect.
Interesting.
"I hope that isn't all your parents thought of you...?"
no subject
Date: 2022-10-25 04:00 am (UTC)As he finishes one line and starts the next, Shen Yuan shakes his head, saying, "No, they were very loving. To the point of over-indulgence, really." He snickers quietly. "I've learned to hide it to some extent, but I'm afraid deep down I'm still a rather lazy, unmotivated person. 'There's nothing wrong with finishing in the top ten as long as the contest had more than ten people in it,' that used to be my motto."
no subject
Date: 2022-10-25 04:28 am (UTC)Easy enough for someone like Lan Xichen to say.
"There is no shame in not being competitive."
no subject
Date: 2022-10-25 04:54 am (UTC)"For my part I've always been happy to live simply and quietly," he says in a soft voice. "It's the rest of the world that has other ideas."
no subject
Date: 2022-10-25 05:03 am (UTC)"The world so often does. Many decide for the futures of others what they would not necessarily choose for themselves."
His gaze turns inward as he works, the motions almost automatic at this point.
"I imagine the world would be a very different place if such things were not foisted upon us."